Empowerment, Goal Setting, Mind

Are You a Doomsayer?

Are you a doomsayer? Doomsayers are people who will see and hear what they want. They misinterpret and make things seem larger than life. They make mountains out of mole hills and second guess what is going to happen or what is being said. They read more into a situation than is truly there. They believe in the worse and become their own nightmare and enemy. Their paranoia and insecurity get the best of them which may cause internal friction, turmoil, illnesses, stress, headaches, break-ups, etc. They are the catalyst to their personal agonies. They are not happy unless they are unhappy. Many times these people are gossipers and relish in other people’s pain and misfortune. These people need to stop inventing what is not there or what they think will happen. They need to butt out of other people’s business and find their own business. They need to relax and sometimes go with the natural flow of destiny rather than make matters worse. Life will be what it is; we can not always change it, we have to accept it.

If you are a doomsayer, stop reading between the lines or second guessing what another’s thoughts are. When you don’t receive the phone call on time or you go to a job interview and there is no word, stop fretting over what might have happened. Redirect your thoughts in a more positive, productive way, take a walk, go for a swim, read a book, do volunteer services, anything but sit around wondering and inventing “what if” scenarios. Life will progress in the direction that is mapped out for you.

Recently I met the father of my son’s friend, a fireman. A few weeks later after performing training exercises, he had a massive heart attack and died. He was a man in his 50’s who had received a bill of health during his last physical. After receiving that news, a coach at our local high school was found dead in the gymnasium, age 46. You can’t worry about what will happen; what will be will be. You cannot change your fate; shoot for quality rather than quantity. This fireman certainly had quality. His funeral services were attended by family, friends, colleagues, his superiors, firefighters from other stations and states, police officers, there were hundreds, maybe thousands attending his funeral. It was sad that he left behind a beautiful wife and family, but he lived life to its fullest and was known for his jokes, his laughter and humanitarian efforts. Celebration of Life stories told during his service created laughter and tears amongst the attendees. This was the life of a good man who knew how to live and not sit around daydreaming about negative “what if’s”, he made the most of every day.

If you don’t get the job you were expecting, move on to other possibilities. If you don’t get the raise you were anticipating, search for another opportunity or continue working without whining. People who whine or complain can be annoying. I interrupt the not getting what I thought I wanted as a sign that better things are yet to come. I have met many people who are complainers. I try not to associate with those people unless absolutely necessary. I try to surround myself with happy, positive, forward thinkers, not depressing people. I want to make the most of my every day. I try to wake up with a smile and go to bed with a smile. I have adversities just like the next person but instead of dwelling on circumstances I can’t change, I choose to seek the brighter side. Life will not always travel in the direction that you had hoped, sometimes you have to let go and believe in blind faith.

If you are having problems in your relationship or marriage, maybe counseling is necessary or maybe the two willing parties have become one, you. Life can sometimes be harsh and cruel. You need the ability to stand on your own two feet; people who you thought you knew can turn out to be unreliable and untrustworthy. If 50% of marriages end in divorce, then 50 % of the people thought they knew their partners. And for the 50% that remain, a % of those people may still not know their partners or live in denial. You know in you gut if it is a union of two or one. You can’t hold unto something if it does not exist. Maybe analyze why? Did you gain weight and not keep up your appearance? Or maybe the other person was shallow and they went with a younger model. You can’t change people. You can only change yourself. You need to put your best foot forth and be the best you can be. Life is like a play, if you want a certain part, you need to act and dress for the part.

For those people who may be facing foreclosure or bankruptcy, this was debt that was stressing you already, now you have closure to this painful monthly agony, you can move forward. Yes, you may not live in the same fancy house nor have the same fancy cars or other material objects, but you have your peace of mind. Where do you go from here? There are assistance programs that may not be the best solution long-term but chalk that up to another of life’s lesson. Think of these programs as short-term solutions, stepping stones to future growth and success. Use your down time to produce something positive, regain your momentum, be creative, e.g. write a book about your experience, write a song if you are talented, go to the library and study a marketable skill, take a free class, or share a skill with a friend and have them reciprocate, a skill for a skill, just don’t sit around drowning in your sorrows. Remember the sayings that “If life throws you lemons, make lemonade”, get your pitcher ready. When your spirits are low, think of the Paris Hiltons and Lindsay Lohans of the world, money and material items have not helped their cause. Stop being doom and gloom, as my calendar says “Today is a gift – that’s why it is called the PRESENT.” Remember you can’t always predict or change things; you have to make the most of what comes your way. Thank you. Kathryn Alexander, www.herocardsinc.com

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